Thom

When I think about myself, I tend not to distinguish among them - they are all challenges. I may be a little different because my Hodgkin's, my massive infections, my scar tissue, my heart attack, my hemi-diaphragm, my brachial plexus nerve damage, etc are all inter-related and were from the beginning. So - I tend not to put them into boxes.

Your visual challenges and the scars (physical and psychological) left by your cancer and its treatment were not initially related. I see them as related now though because they are you. You cannot separate yourself from them. They both influence how you see yourself, but they represent challenges you have overcome. Yay, you. You are a survivor.

Amy

I know I talk with you about disability, but I have another aspect to my essence. I am also a breast cancer survivor.

This weekend I was at my folks’ house in Sheffield PA. They live on a road that was once the original Route 6. The new Route 6 is about two hundred yards from their backyard with the Hammer Mill railroad running between. While at my folks’ home this weekend, I pushed my littlest Evan on a big wheel toy as fast as I could, despite being bent over, up and down that old stretch of Route 6.

I ran across the old Four-Mile creek wooden bridge pushing him as fast as I could for his joy. During cancer treatment I kept focused on my children and playing with them again. I am still alive and cherish every minute with my children. My triceps our sore from pushing Evan on his big wheel. This is a pain I can endure.

Thom

Not alone at all - actually in the mainstream of those with disability and of those who work with those who are with disability.

Very cool.

Amy

Thanks for understanding Thom and knowing me the way I want to be known. This helps.

So I'm not alone in the way I think? Cool.

Thom

No - that is Seligman's term - after he did learned helplessness. It is what has grown into Positive Psychology.

Linnea is very much a person-first advocate. That's what it's called in Disability Studies - you are a person with whatever, not a whatever person. In your case, you are a person who happens to have low vision. There are many with disability who go the other way, however, because they feel that by owning the label they deny others a weapon against them - like gays calling themselves queers. It's sort of if I call myself that, it must not be a bad thing and, therefore, lessens the stigma.

All of your other questions - the what ifs - can't really be answered, can they? And does it matter anyway? They are about the past (which can't be changed) and we need to live in the present. Fun to think about maybe, but the goal is to be happy with who/where we are. Count the blessings we have, not the ones we didn't get.

You are a mom, a wife, a neuroscientist, a professor first.

Amy

I like the term learned optimism. Did you coin it?

What I wish to convey to Linnea is that I do not see myself as a blind mother, blind wife, blind teacher, blind sister, or as a blind daughter. Or am I all of these? I see myself as a person who happens to have low vision. Does low vision define who I am? I don’t know.

I wonder where I would be now if I wasn’t born with low vision. Would I have been popular in high school? Would I have had more friends? Would I be more successful, or less successful? Would I have learned to have a forgiving heart? Would I have had less heartache?

I just don’t know.